


This Town

by megacookie2002



Series: Sterek [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, Song inspired story, Theo Raeken/Stiles Stilinski - Freeform, inspired by This Town by Niall Horan, minor abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 08:58:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10636584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megacookie2002/pseuds/megacookie2002
Summary: Inspired by /This Town/ by Niall HoranDerek doesn’t have Stiles in his life anymore. But he’s managing. Maybe not dealing, but he’s managing. Or at least, trying to manage. No one said it was easy. But it would be easier if Derek could move on from Stiles. But he’s pretty sure that he can’t and that he won’t be able to. That hurts too.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "This Town" by Niall Horan

_ Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there _

 

Derek groans as he lifts his head, reaching out for Stiles, moving to kiss him. 

    Only, the bed’s empty of the body that he searches for. Derek huffs as he lies back down and curls up into a ball.

    It doesn’t matter that they broke up over a month ago, the pain is still fresh. It hurts so much. Derek feels physical pain in his chest every time he turns and expects to see Stiles, only for him to be absent.

    Some would say that was four years down the drain, useless, wasted. 

    Not to Derek.

    To Derek, they were the best four years of his life. 

    It was fours years of Stiles.

    Four years of Stiles’ smile, his wit, his humor, his sarcasm, his intelligence. Four years of Stiles’ words, laughter, comfort, warmth. It was four years of his life that was filled with Stiles in every presence of his life. Four years of every sense of his being filled with Stiles, only for one night to make that be ripped away from him.

    One night caused his four years of paradise to be ripped away from him.

    And it was all Derek’s fault.

 

_ The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air _

 

    As Derek pulls himself up, he catches the smell of Stiles still on his comforter. No matter how many washes his clothes, sheets, pillowcases, and everything else goes through, Stiles’ smell clings stubbornly to them. As if his scent is mocking Derek. 

 

_ It's hard _

 

    Moving on is supposed to be easier over time. 

    Not for Derek.

    For Derek, it gets harder and harder over time. The distance apart makes it harder to breathe, to function. 

    His friends tell him it’ll just take some time. That he’s been heartbroken before, and he’ll be heartbroken again. He’ll be fine.

    But he  _ won’t _ be fine. 

    He  _ won’t _ be because with Stiles it was  _ different. _

    With Paige, the first girl he ever loved, it was a child’s love. Yes, he loved her, but it was fleeting. A teenager’s version of love. It wasn’t  _ serious _ or anything like that. If it had been, it would have been harder to let her go than it actually was.

    Then Kate. What he had with Kate wasn’t  _ love. _ It was her manipulation of a young boy. A psycho. A bitch. A murderer. Or, at least, almost. Luckily, Derek realized her plans and got everyone out of the house with no casualties and minor injuries. She was locked up and died in jail. 

    After Kate was Jennifer. Jennifer was just as manipulative as Kate. She was just using Derek to get after he ex and kill her. Of course, she was caught. Besides, Derek never loved her, not quite.

    Finally, there was Braeden. She was a wildcard. A U.S. Marshal. She was great in bed, beautiful, smart, powerful, strong, but . . . it didn’t work out. She was too obsessed with her job. It was her job  _ then _ Derek. And Derek tried to understand, but when she went over their anniversary and didn’t even  _ remember _ was the last straw for Derek. He ended it, and felt relief.

    But, none of them felt like  _ Stiles. _

    None of them made him feel like he was dead when it was over. None of them made him feel like his heart had been torn out of his chest. None of them felt like he had lost the best part of him. None of them had felt like he had lost a limb and now he has forgotten how to function properly. 

    No, none of them felt like this.

 

_ Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round _

 

    It didn’t help that Derek saw him everywhere. He caught a glimpse of him at the library, at the coffee shop, at the sheriff’s station.

 

_ It's funny how things never change in this old town _

_ So far from the stars _

 

    Whenever he sees Stiles, Stiles is going through his same routine. Getting coffee as eight in the morning before heading over to the library to do some research on whatever case D.C. has given him before heading over to the sheriff’s station to have lunch with his dad and then doing research there. 

     Usually, when it was eight at night, Stiles would come home to Derek and they would eat, then maybe watch a movie or fool around with each other. Sometimes they would just sit in each other’s presence, reading or working, and it was enough for them.

    Now? 

    Well, Stiles goes home and probably eats dinner there and works some more before falling asleep at his desk because he’s overworking himself. 

    But Derek can’t say for sure because he hasn’t actually  _ talked _ to Stiles. Just  _ seen _ him. 

    Derek can’t figure out whether that’s better or worse.

 

_ And I want to tell you everything _

_ The words I never got to say the first time around _

 

    Derek didn’t get to tell Stiles everything. He didn’t get to tell Stiles  _ just _ how much he loves him. Not love _ d. _ It’s still present, because he still does. He  _ still _ loves Stiles. 

    But Derek never got to tell him that he would - still will - take a bullet for Stiles without a second thought. That he would - and still will - die for Stiles and not regret a thing. That he wants a future with Stiles. That he wants to marry Stiles and have kids with him. Get a damn dog with Stiles because Stiles has wanted a dog since he was a kid. 

    Derek never got to take him to the diner that they had their first date at, have lunch with him, and then propose. Derek never got to do that, even though he has the ring in his dresser. 

 

_ And I remember everything _

_ From when we were the children playing in this fairground _

_ Wish I was there with you now _

 

    He never got to tell Stiles the story of how he remembers growing up with Stiles. That he remembers Stiles coming over to the house and eating with everyone. He remembers becoming Stiles’ best friend. He remembers running around the town fair with him when they were kids. He remembers Stiles meeting Scott and becoming jealous of Scott because  _ he _ was Stiles’ best friend,  _ not _ him.

    And being Stiles’ best friend? That’s in the past now. 

    If only they hadn’t fought. If only Derek had fought harder  _ for _ Stiles instead of  _ with _ him.

 

_ If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you _

 

    Derek remembers going to prom with Stiles. He remembers when he first found out that his feelings for Stiles was more than platonic, even though they were going together as friends because Scott was going with Allison and Stiles didn’t want to go alone.

    He remembers when there was a slow dance and Stiles was frowning at Lydia and Jackson who were there together. He remembers taking Stiles by the hand and leading him somewhere where they couldn’t see them and then dancing with him, distracting Stiles.

    Stiles had gotten nervous due to all the eyes that had focused on them, but Derek just danced with Stiles without a care in the world, focused solely on him. He didn’t care for the eyes, and Stiles shouldn’t have either.

 

_ Drive highways and byways to be there with you _

 

    Derek also remembers when Stiles called him at one in the morning because Malia had broken up with him and he wasn’t dealing with it well. 

    He remembers throwing pants on and grabbing his keys to his Camaro before driving to Stiles’ house even though he was an hour away at college. He remembers driving on the highway and then taking shortcuts on byways just to be there for Stiles.

    It was then that he realized that he was -  _ is _ \- in love with Stiles.

 

_ Over and over the only truth _

_ Everything comes back to you _

 

    But Derek can’t help that all of his memories, everywhere that he goes, is filled with Stiles. That he fills every crevice of Derek’s life.

    It hurts and Derek curls himself into a tighter ball.

 

_ I saw that you moved on with someone new _

_ In the pub that we met he's got his arms around you _

 

Derek’s breath leaves him when he walks into the bar that Stiles and Derek ‘met’ or, really, met each other again after college had pulled them apart. Stiles is there with some  _ guy _ \- Derek is pretty sure the guy’s name is Theo Raeken - and playing pool with him. 

    Stiles is laughing openly, Theo’s arms around him as he helps Stiles play even though Stiles doesn’t need help. 

 

_ It's so hard _

_ So hard _

 

    Derek knows this because Stiles kicked his butt at pool all the time. He is undefeated, but now he’s  _ flirting _ by pretending to be  _ bad _ and it . . . it’s too much. Derek’s heart can only take so much.

    He leaves without getting a beer.

 

Of course, not talking to Stiles can only go on for so long. 

    Derek makes it four months,  _ four months _ , without talking to Stiles, only seeing him from afar. 

    But, Derek being a deputy makes it significantly difficult to not see him again. Derek just hoped the circumstances would be different, and that it wouldn’t still hurt so much.

    Derek is sent over to some house -  _ Theo Raeken’s _ house - because someone heard yelling and glass breaking and called it in. Derek is sent out because he’s only deputy still still at the station, mainly because he can’t stand going home without Stiles being there to greet him.

    So, Derek goes and knocks on the door.

    “This is Deputy Hale from the Sheriff’s department,” Derek calls through the door.

    It’s quiet, but there’s two cars in front of the house. In fact, there’s a familiar  _ Jeep _ in front of the house. Derek’s blood goes cold and he knocks again.

    “Open up!” Derek yells through the door. 

    Finally, there are footsteps and someone pushes the door open. It’s Theo, and he has a fake smile plastered on his face.

    “Sorry Deputy, I was just finishing dinner,” Theo tells him lying smoothly.

    The reason Derek is so good at his job is he can’ always tell when someone’s lying.

    “Home alone?” Derek asks, knowing perfectly well that he isn’t.

    “Of course, officer,” Theo lies again.

    “Then you wouldn’t mind explaining why Mr. Stilinski’s Jeep is in front of the house, would you? He wouldn’t just leave it, even if it broke down. He would call a tow truck and stubbornly go with the tow guy because he loves that car. Because it was his mother’s, and he would never just  _ leave _ it behind. So, let me ask you again.

_ “Are you home alone?” _

     Theo tries to slam the door in his face but Derek pushes through. 

    “Stiles!” Derek calls desperately.

    “Derek?” comes the weak response. 

    Theo tries to throw a punch, but he’s too slow. Derek punches him, knocking him out before going to find Stiles.

    “Stiles!” Derek calls again.

    “Derek!” he hears, it’s stronger this time.

    Derek runs towards the voice and finds Stiles in the kitchen, glass in his right arm and hand, blood trickling out of his mouth and nose. There’s a knife nearby, bloody and matching the tears in Stiles’ clothing. 

    “Stiles,” Derek whimpers before dropping down to his side before talking animatedly into his radio.

    Derek doesn’t even let himself think, just goes through the motions as he picks up Stiles and carries him out of the house after handcuffing Theo to the staircase’s railing. 

    He doesn’t pause as he sets Stiles in the car and runs to the driver’s side and announces he’s taking Stiles to the hospital and to send deputies to the house. 

    Derek doesn’t even realize he’s shaking until Stiles puts a weak hand on his own. 

    “You . . . You came for me,” Stiles says weakly, offering a smile.

 

_ And I want to tell you everything _

_ The words I never got to say the first time around _

 

    “Of course I did. I love you,” Derek tells him as he throws the cruiser into drive and puts his sirens on as he takes off to the hospital.

    “Still?” Stiles asks, taking in a shuddering breath.

    “I’ve never stopped.”

    Stiles smiles, but it’s sad and his eyes fill with tears. 

    “I don’t . . . I don’t want you to. You already put yourself through so much pain,” Stiles breathes.

 

_ And I remember everything _

_ From when we were the children playing in this fairground _

_ Wish I was there with you now _

 

    “How can I stop? After everything we’ve been through? I . . . I can’t Stiles. I can’t move on, and if loving you causes me pain, screw it. It’s the best kind of pain. The only pain that I want. I’d rather suffer than forget about you and everything that happened between us. I love you, and I’m not going to stop,” Derek growls out as he parks at the hospital before running out and grabbing Stiles before taking him inside.

    “Help! Help me! He’s bleeding, please help!” Derek calls helplessly.

    He sees Nurse McCall - he stopped calling her Melissa when he and Stiles broke up - running towards them. 

    “What happened to him?” she asks him sharply as other nurses get Stiles a gurney and Liam Dunbar’s step-dad runs up to them.

    “Theo Raeken was beating him. The station got I call and I went to the house and . . . and . . .” Derek can feel the tears falling down his face. 

     “Don’t worry Mr. Hale, we’ll take care of him,” Nurse McCall assures him as they wheel him away.

     Derek feels more empty than before.

 

_ As if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you _

_ Drive highways and byways to be there with you _

_ Over and over the only truth _

_ Everything comes back to you _

 

Derek doesn’t leave the hospital. He can’t. He  _ physically _ can’t. It hurts too much. So, he stays in the waiting room and listens for any news on his condition.

    Eventually, Sheriff Stilinski comes, as does Scott and Malia and Kira and Lydia and Liam and Mason and Corey and Allison. All here for Stiles, like Derek is.

    At some point, Boyd, Erica, and Isaac show up. Derek knows they’re here for Stiles, but they’re here for Derek too. 

    Derek who hasn’t left his seat, his knee bouncing up and down, his hands clasped together and pressed against his lips as he sits there scared for Stiles.

    No one says anything to him, and Boyd, Erica, and Isaac just sit by his side, offering small motions of comfort. Derek doesn’t shove them away, but he doesn’t lean into their comforting touches either. 

    In fact, he jumps up when Nurse McCall walks out into the waiting room.

    “Is he okay? Is Stiles okay? Is he going to be fine?” Derek asks in a rushed and desperate tone, not caring if anyone can see how he’s still so  _ obviously _ in love with Stiles.

    “Slow your roll. He’s fine. The cuts weren’t deep enough for stitches, and he has a minor concussion, but other than that he’s fine. He’ll need to stay overnight, and then he’s free to go home,” Nurse McCall assures everyone, but Derek knows the words are mainly for him. 

    “Can I . . . Can I see him?” Derek asks quietly, feeling small and vulnerable.

    Derek will never relax unless he sees Stiles for himself.

    “Well, that’s up to Sheriff Stilinski,” Nurse McCall answers carefully.

    Sheriff Stilinski sighs, but he must nod because Nurse McCall starts to lead Derek to Stiles’ room.

 

_ You still make me nervous when you walk in the room _

_ Them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you _

_ Over and over the only truth _

_ Everything comes back to you _

 

    Derek follows quickly after her and holds himself back from throwing himself on Stiles when he gets into the room. Instead, he takes a seat and scoots up to Stiles’ side. 

    He carefully takes Stiles’ hand in his, and feels butterflies in his stomach. He feels the nerves he felt on their first date, and can’t help it because even though Stiles is bandaged up, he’s gorgeous. 

    Stiles’ face is unmarked by anything. His right arm and hand is bandaged, and Derek bets his torso is too underneath the hospital gown. 

    “I love you,” Derek whispers against Stiles’ injured hand, kissing it softly.

    Derek doesn’t leave the room until Sheriff Stilinski walks in with Scott by his side.

 

_ And I know that it's wrong _

_ That I can't move on _

_ But there's something about you _

 

It’s been  _ six months _ since Derek and Stiles have broken up, and only a month since Stiles got hurt and Theo was thrown in jail.

    But Derek’s heart still hurts. It does, and it’s hard to manage to make it through each day, but he manages. 

    He manages to avoid Stiles at the coffee shop by making coffee at home. He avoids Stiles at the Sheriff’s station by taking the morning and night shifts instead of the morning and afternoon ones. He manages to avoid Stiles altogether, because he knows that every glance of Stiles makes his heart hurt a little more each time, and whatever is left of his heart shatters at the same time. 

    But, Derek manages. He does. Even if he’s not dealing, he’s managing, which is a start. 

    His mom and dad try to talk to him about it, but he shrugs them off, saying that he’s managing. He insists that he’s fine.

    And when Cora and Laura pester him also, he tells them the same thing.

    When Boyd, Erica, and Isaac visit him on Friday nights, Derek insists that he’s fine, but let’s them take him to the movies, to The Jungle, or just stay home and hang out. 

    So, he’s managing. It’s not easy, but he’s managing. 

    He’s been avoiding Stiles so easily, it was only a matter of time before he couldn’t anymore.

    Someone rings his doorbell on Friday night. 

    Of course, Derek expects it to be Boyd, Erica, and Isaac like always, so he doesn’t bother asking who it is or checking through the peephole as he throws the door open.

    And there’s Stiles. Right there. And Derek feels a little part of him die a bit because he can’t hold Stiles in his arms or kiss him like he wants to. 

    “Stiles?” Derek asks, hating the way he sounds so vulnerable and  _ broken. _

    “Well, you’ve been avoiding me. Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Stiles explains, waltzing into the house. 

    Derek doesn’t even try to stop him and just follows him into the living room.

    “What are you doing here?” Derek asks softly from the doorway, Stiles reclaiming his favorite spot on the couch. 

    “Sit,” Stiles says instead, patting the spot next to him where Derek would usually sit.

    Derek does.

    “What are you doing here?” Derek repeats, his voice heavy and broken.

    “Well, first of all, I never got to thank you for saving me from . . . from Theo,” Stiles starts, offering a small smile at him.

    “You don’t need to thank me,” Derek tells him weakly.

    “I do. But, since I couldn’t do it after you took me to the hospital and suddenly  _ left _ or whatever, I couldn’t. So, I gotta do it now. So . . . thank you,” Stiles tells him, taking Derek’s left hand in his own right hand, the one that was injured.

    “Your welcome,” Derek replies, staring at their joint hands. 

    “The other reason I’m here is because I don’t understand why you would just leave me there after telling me that you love me. You don’t just  _ leave _ after you tell someone that you love them. So I want an explanation,” Stiles says, suddenly fierce.

 

_ If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you _

_ Drive highways and byways to be there with you _

_ Over and over the only truth _

_ Everything comes back to you _

 

     “I stayed. I stayed until they let me see you and then I stayed until your father and Scott walked in and I knew . . . I knew I wasn’t welcomed. I knew that . . . the time that I had with you was over. That I wouldn’t get to see you again. So I left, because I couldn’t stay in the waiting room and listen to all of your friends yell at me.

     “Maybe that isn’t fair, or it’s selfish. But I - I . . . I couldn’t stand there and let me feel like a shittier person for letting you go. I couldn’t sit there and then chance you walking out and looking at me in disgust. I - I can’t. I can’t look at you without my heart hurting. I can’t do it Stiles, I can’t. I love you, and it hurts, which is why I’ve stayed away. 

    “Because I can’t anymore. I can’t watch you walk into the Sheriff’s station and do your work while I’m left miserable wanting you. I can’t watch you anymore and not be with you. It hurts. It hurts  _ so _ much. And . . . I - I can’t. I can’t Stiles. 

    “So, please, just . . . leave me alone. I can’t see you anymore. I need to move on and I can’t if you’re everywhere I look. I’m managing, I’m  _ trying _ to manage without you here.”

    “But you’re not dealing.”

    Derek looks up at Stiles.

    “What?” Derek asks, his voice breaking.

    “You might be managing, but you’re not dealing. I know you Derek, I know you,” Stiles whispers, taking both of Derek’s hands in his. 

    Stiles pulls Derek close to him and hugs him tightly. Derek can’t do anything except hug him back.

_ You still make me nervous when you walk in the room _

_ Them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you _

_ Over and over the only truth _

_ Everything comes back to you _

_ Everything comes back to you _

 

    “I love you too,” Stiles whispers into Derek’s hair.

    Derek just starts to sob into Stiles’ shoulder, helpless against it. He holds Stiles close until he calms down. And when he stops sobbing he kisses Stiles desperately, eager for it. He’s missed this, missed  _ him _ and can’t help himself anymore.

    “Marry me. Please, marry me,” Derek pleads, peppering kisses on Stiles’ lips.

    “Of course I will. Of course. Yes, yes, I love you. I love you so much,” Stiles whispers as he cries, kissing Derek deeply.

    They cry as they kiss each other, but they’ve never been happier. 

**Author's Note:**

> Join me on [tumblr](https://ao3megacookie2002.tumblr.com)


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